In the last article, “The War Within”, the focus was on finding peace within our self, the work no one else can do. It helped us to allow others to be themselves and to appreciate and work with others just as they are.
There is a freedom we experience when we discover an underlying trust in Life.
The Dangers Inherent within Conflict
In any conflict, the real danger is losing our self, isn’t it? Losing our image. Losing our integrity. Losing our soul. When we lose that, we create suffering not only in others but also within ourselves.
Losing our self is far more serious than the damage done to relationships because trust can not be reestablished without restoring our own integrity, without accessing our authentic ‘self’.
What is our Authentic Self?
In science there is a term called ‘discrete’, meaning having boundaries. Thoughts are discrete, meaning between thoughts there is a gap as one thought comes to an end and another begins. However, we don’t notice the gap, the pause between one thought and the next, because in between them is pure consciousness. It smoothes the transition from one thought to the next, much like in deep sleep, we don’t experience the long pause between falling asleep and waking up, because consciousness or awareness is experienced as timeless.
So, between thoughts is our authentic self, sometimes called consciousness, awareness or presence. It is our ‘self’ without the thoughts, without the story we are currently telling ourselves. It is the knower of our human experience, that which perceives thoughts, feelings and sense perceptions.
Notice our authentic self, the knower of our human experiences, has no enemies because to have an enemy requires a story and our genuine self is without story. What is fascinating is that it is also true of the other party(s). Their authentic self also has no enemies although they may not realize it. They may be attached to their story.
Many describe our authentic self like this: There is something that gave rise to the universe and whatever it is, it must also be the very core of our being and as such is intimately connected with all selves. It is the source of our creativity, peace, wisdom and love.
Being Open to Our Authentic Self
In our next conflict, ask for a moment to gather ourself. It is in pausing that we open ourselves to the wisdom of our authentic self. In that pause, notice the thoughts and feelings happening within us. Sense what is happening with the other(s). Become aware of all who will be impacted by this conflict…… as best we can, see the totality of the situation.
In the pause, in the silence of simply being open to all aspects, there often comes to us what is needed in that moment. It is hard to describe how it happens, but when we have been at our best, there have been moments when the words found us, the right action found us, just when they were needed.
Pause for a moment, and remember a time in your life when you experienced being in this flow state. What happened?
As we learn to trust the wisdom of our authentic self, these surprising moments begin to happen more and more often.
True Leadership
True leadership is a high road, isn’t it? Authentic leaders protect people even from themselves.
And if we find ourselves in a conflict with someone who is naïve, or who is terrified of conflict and who quickly caves in rather than share their own needs and insights, we can assist them in finding a satisfying outcome.
Can you think of anything more satisfying than seeing the big picture, see all who will be impacted by this conflict and instead of allowing pettiness to get in the way, being a presence of peace and wisdom in the midst of the chaos.
That’s true leadership, isn’t it?
Activity Proposal for this Week
See what it is like this week as you look forward to the inevitable conflicts that are part of Life. See what it is like to access the Wisdom of our authentic self in the midst of a conflict.
That’s a calling worthy of who we are, isn’t it?
